Oh, I still want to see Him!

Helen always comes with me to the children's concerts.

She is a delightful companion at these events where there are too many people and I get so very nervous in crowds. She points out the interesting things around, me that I would miss if she weren't with me. Last year she showed me how she dances to the African drums and I nearly fell off my chair with laughter, to imagine her dancing around me as she did. This year, she pointed out the flags on the ceiling, which I never would have noticed. She got right up on the stage with those children and danced to Santa Clause is coming to town. Last year she was comforting me, so she couldn't go up on the stage. This year she knows that I won't fall off the chair so easily, so she left me for a minute or two to enjoy the spotlight with the children. There were so many little people in the audience and she especially loves the chopsticks song. I don't know why she loves that song so much, she doesn't let me ask her too many questions, she just does. My son in the concert is my complete entertainment and I would miss all of the other enjoyments about me, had I not a friend who points these other things out.

Now We See as through a glass darkly---(The opening scene from the "Miracle Worker")

God's love expressed in this hymn spoke to my heart so well. Bless the Lord!

I Want Him to Know Me!

Sooner Than we could know!

The darkness of the storm was alarming. I wasn't ready for the emotions of the moment. I guess, I felt that fellowship with Helen was a right of this era of the church history. I hadn't learned Braille yet. I just enjoyed being able to see her perspective on the things around me. Then, the lightning struck. She was gone. In her place was a picture in the sky. It was a face with a half smile. Her face is on the glass at the bottom of heaven, looking for me, in my imagination. The smile was not a full smile. She said the smile in this time is going from frown to half smile. We can't ever know what great fellowship there is with those whose rest is won. But, just a taste, makes me hungry for Heaven. The oven rang and the lightning flashed and I knew that she was in empathy to my plight upon earth. I have sight, I have hearing and speech, which she had none, while she was on earth. It seemed that the lesson was that God weaves our expectations, even, into His paroucia. As though we are rowing to Christ's appearing and He is commanding the procession in the understanding of our wondrous expectation. It was very sudden, although completely expected. Do we expect Him? Do we pray and prepare? He could come, without our being ready, but His heart is for His church's preparation. For Her, He labors in intercession and advocacy and in direction of Heaven and Earth, which He is Lord of. The memories of my friend Helen, representing Grandma Monica at Ethan's concert and the other moments of intense fellowship were crescendoed in one lightning flash. Don't forget, Christ will come, just as quickly. Don't forget, you're not stupid, if you don't know Braille. And our faces kissed at the bottom of heaven. You keep your lips like this, not a full smile, until Christ appears. He is the payment for our salvation. She knew it and I knew it. So many questions unanswered. So many things we never said to eachother, but, friendship with Jesus uniting us.

Pared down the garden to a dull roar...

I was nurturing a mini rain forest instead of a garden. Where the okra and eggplant used to be, there were strawberries and watermelon plants put in. I got discouraged and left them to fallow. Yesterday, I got a bit of a wind toward the outside. I pulled out lots of grass and took inventory. There are still 5 strawberry plants out there and several watermelon growing sweetly. They may or may not get to be ripened, but I have seen them grow and am content with that. One is about 8 or 10 inches in circumference, I am so glad to see them, doing what they are doing. My grape plants went to seed and I planted those seeds to see if anything will come of those also. I plan to wrap up the weeds and continue my paring until the rain forest has become a garden again. :)

Mother McCorkel and Father MacMurray prescribed a head of Boston Lettuce smothered in balsamic for my dispepsia.

Just because I love Boston lettuce, I indulged. I will never pay more than 2 dollars for indulgence, but chocolate, I argued with them. They insisted and I capitulated. I am eating it now. As I walked, they lectured the fatherhood and motherhood theory of mind and thought and theory and reality. What pains in the neck that they lived through were far more enlivened by my dispepsia, than when I am feeling well. After my walk in the store with them, I went home to eat my salad and hope for results from their encouragements and feeding. If that doesn't work, I have a vegetable broth started for dinner. Lentils and rice and a hearty broth for the sick soul.